LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
