His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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