I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
