So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
