Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
