with your own penis?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
