the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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