i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
