I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
and she was petting her beer can
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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