take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
