So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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