She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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