She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
