he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
