I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
