Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
