Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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