Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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