I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
