You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Houston, we have a squirter
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
