I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
