You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
