Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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