The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
