Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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