god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
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As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
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He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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