Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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