Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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