You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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