I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Is it penis luge time yet?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
