What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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