So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
