I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
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You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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