Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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