this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
