And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
