Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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