I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
