My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
