R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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