i need an iv and a liver transplant
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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