He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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