Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
