She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
