I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
