did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
