how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
