im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
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i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
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Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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