i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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