i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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