why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Houston, we have a squirter
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
