a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
