Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
