Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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