It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
