Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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