Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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