found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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